Here I go, writing again cause I can't sleep. I'm not sure if this is real insomnia, I'm pretty sure I just had way too much caffeine at work and my mind won't calm down long enough to get tired. I laid in bed for 2 hours, mind racing over a dozen questions I've already put behind me. At least, I thought I had.

I've half convinced myself of the ( Read more... )

Ok, I had a lapse. 8 months of happiness and serenity had left me unprepared and vulnerable to the onslaught of depression left in the wake of a positive emotion's departure. I can't believe how quickly I fell back into the old habits, how quickly I turned to the old demon. I can't believe how I dropped everything to wallow.

It has passed.

Time and ( Read more... )

And though I find I'm not immune to those overwhelming bouts of depression, I find I'm more able to deal with them quickly.
My mind's a mess this morning, so I think I should go out to the lakes to clear it. It's cold out, and cold always awakens my spirit. I've gone and tried to let attention dictate my self worth again, and that's just not ( Read more... )

So, I was talking to Jonah one night after work....I guess 2 months ago, or maybe more. That was back when I was pretty much in hate with my job and was taking nearly every opportunity possible to bitch about work. I recall him saying something about how he decided one day to be happy, and to be content with where he was and what he had. I thought ( Read more... )

I can't remember the last time I came home from work, exhausted, and smelling of canes, wanting to head immediately for my bed. It's....fulfilling.

The cold weather has been doing strange things to me. My mind's working differently. It's hard to describe. I feel somewhat like my old self. Only, older, and maybe a little wiser. But that spark....... ( Read more... )

Summer is carrying on, with little pomp and even less circumstance.

I carve out a dull day by deciding to carry myself to the rec center or not. I enjoy going, i just don't enjoy waking up late and then not wanting to go. I make every monday and tuesday, but the rest of the week has been skipped or modified lately. Either way, I've managed to get ( Read more... )

I took my last final today, around noon....and thats the last I intend to think of school till august.
This summer is to be about lounging, having fun, drinking to delirium and getting in shape, mentally, emotionally and physically.

I've been really lost for a while, and i intend to either find or reinvent myself over the next three months. Now, ( Read more... )